Satan Offering Black Friday Deal To Trade Only 50% Of Soul For Lifetime Of Riches

NINTH CIRCLE, HELL—Claiming that untold wealth could be yours for the “low, low price of half your immortal essence,” Satan, the Great Tempter and Prince of Darkness, announced this morning a Black Friday deal in which human beings could trade a mere 50% of their soul for a lifetime of riches. “If you’ve ever dreamed…

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