Folding Chair In Church Basement Fantasizes About Getting Smashed Over Wrestler’s Back

DALLAS, TX—Hoping to eventually escape the dreary and mundane utility space, a local folding chair in the basement of Antioch Church reportedly fantasized Tuesday about getting smashed over a professional wrestler’s back. “Someday I’ll get out of this damn basement and finally make the big time, being swung at an…

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Study: Majority Of U.S. Population One Disappointing Sandwich Away From Complete Mental Breakdown