El Chapo’s Wife Arrested On Drug Charges Exactly As Planned

DULLES, VA—Bringing the couple’s stunning machinations that much closer to realization, Emma Coronel Aispuro—the former beauty queen and wife of notorious drug kingpin “El Chapo”—was arrested at Dulles International Airport this week, exactly as planned. “Today, we detained Miss Aispuro for her suspected role in…

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Spirit Who Caught Typhus En Route To Siege Of Antioch Figures It Simpler Just To Say He Died In The Crusades

Good job, mum